Throughout the next few months, news Teen is highlighting the way teens think and feel about sex through anecdotes written for our series, “Teen Sex: It’s Complicated.” All of the authors are teenagers who have agreed to be published anonymously. If you want to share your thoughts, join the conversation here.
By Maggie, 18
My story may be a little different than the others, but it’s my story and it’s supposed to be different. I was never taught about sex. It was never brought up to me but once, by my grandmother, of all people, while my mother sat idly by in the next room. She basically just said to wait until I was married. My mother and father had divorced and my mother brought many men in and out of my life, which probably gave the young me a messed up view of love. I’d had that talk when I was 11.
Fast-forward about two years and I’d lost my virginity at 13. I lost it someone who, being so naive, I thought I was in love with. Looking back, of course I was too young. I shouldn’t have even been thinking about sex. But today’s world is so focused on it, I guess. After that, I became convinced that if I slept with someone or if they wanted to sleep with me, that meant they loved or liked me. Why I thought that, I’m not sure.
Fast-forward another year and there I was, after school, staring down at those two pink lines that changed my life forever. I’d gotten pregnant at just 14. I was so young and had so much more to do. But I pushed everything aside to take care of my child, even if I was just a child myself. I still remember my first OB/GYN appointment. The first thing the doctor said to me was, “Congratulations.” I just stared at her, dumbfounded.
If I could go back and say anything to that 14 year-old, it’d be “wait.” Just wait. You’ve got all the time in the world to worry about sex and boys and it all may seem important now, but it’s minuscule compared to what lies ahead. Trust me, you’ll miss these carefree days when they’re gone.
I don’t regret having my child, though. She’s changed me in so many ways. I see the world from a different point of view now. I just wish I’d realized that maybe that point of view would’ve been better at a later age.
My advice: Honestly, wait until you feel you’re really mature enough to handle the emotions and outcomes of sex. I was only 14. I was definitely not ready for all the responsibility that sex brought me.
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