–Gwyneth’s Goop is hawking ‘vampire repellent’

September 21, 2017

It takes a lot for Gwyneth Paltrow — and her dubious lifestyle-site-turned-magazine, Goop — to faze us these days. But the queen of “wha?” has outdone herself with “Psychic Vampire Repellent,” currently on sale on Goop dot com.

Per the peppy product description, the $30 “spray-able elixir” is something “we can all get behind.”

The spray, manufactured by Paper Crane Apothecary, contains a mix of aromatherapeutic oils that have allegedly been “reported to banish bad vibes (and shield you from the people who may be causing them).”

Psychic Vampire Repellent by Paper Crane Apothecary.Goop

Ingredients include “sonically tuned” water” and a blend of “gem elixirs,” including ruby, bloodstone and black onyx.

Also on the ingredient list: reiki, sound waves, moonlight and love.

Those looking to safeguard their aura should spritz the stuff “generously” around their heads — while simultaneously avoiding ingesting, inhaling or getting any in their eyes.

To be clear, this product is meant to ward off emotional vampires (meaning people who drain your energy), not the fanged sort. So if you’re traveling in Transylvania, bring backup.

It bears noting that the vampire spray is not FDA-approved. – #1 News in a FLASH

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